So what have I learned?

A little while ago, I decided to change the pace of my blog. Instead of posting short vignettes about the world, I thought I’d try something different. After all, I have thoughts and opinions and that’s what a blog is for, right? So I decided to branch out and try some new things, like some personal posts, political posts, and even some opinion posts.

So now that I’ve done a few, what have I learned? Well, as it turns out, I don’t have as many opinions as I thought….

All kidding aside though, I realized I’m just not the opinionated, political, current-events satirist that other people excel at. I mean, even while I was writing some of my posts, I found myself disparaging my own thoughts and disagreeing with myself as if I was arguing with my own opinion. I rewrote some pieces so many times that I got confused and a little exhausted with the whole mess. Writing down your opinion for others to read is a lot harder than I thought. 

It’s not that I am wishy washy or easily swayed. It’s more about how I like to see both sides of the story. When it comes to controversy, there is a grain of truth in each side of the story, isn’t there?  Otherwise it wouldn’t be a story. Everyone would just agree and that would be the end of it.

It’s kinda like how the world is round. Sure people years ago disagreed, but not anymore. We all know now that world is a globe and so there’s nothing more to talk about. Wait, What? There are people that still believe the world is flat? Nah. I think they’re just saying that to get attention. That’s what controversy is. Some people exaggerate or even generate misconceptions (lie) just to get attention.

But that’s not me. I am not about exploiting controversy or lying just to create visibility. Instead I want to look at real issue and analyze both sides so I can formulate my own opinion. But let’s face it. It’s hard.

Take my article on why the Catholic Church doesn’t change. I actually started writing it a long time ago. I spent a fair amount of time on it, but realistically, it is still only half-assed. In order to really do it right, I should have done more research. I should have spent time learning about the church’s official stance on the issues and perhaps read what other scholars and smarter people have written on the subject. Only then, after I have pulled together all the information, could I finally develop my own opinion. And only after that could my opinion be considered valuable. Otherwise, I am just spewing half-baked nonsense just like most of the people on Tik Tok. I could actually be lying or exploiting controversy without intending it because I haven’t really done the right investigation – which of course is exactly what I didn’t want.

So after a few posts I realized that in order to really do this right, I need to put in a lot more work into each post. And to tell the truth, I kinda lost my motivation. Spending that much time and energy and even more quickly loses its luster especially for a free blog. Besides, like I said above, I’m not really an opinionist, so I didn’t feel I was really getting anything out of it for myself. So in the end I decided that value is not worth the work. 

And so that brings me to this moment. So has anything changed? I mean, I knew my posts wouldn’t change the world. And they didn’t. But maybe the better question is, have I changed? And the answer is yes. I have changed. I learned that trying to be some political, opinionated, ranter takes a lot more work that it looks like. And that is not who I am. It was worth a try though. Part of finding out who you are in the world is also finding out who you are not.

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash